IDK

She was going to write about her man first, but i guess i have a luxury of time, while she's too busy reading the second Twilight book. i do not know why, and i have no idea how i may like someone like him. What is the point of going into the desert with no water, risking it all, just to get disappointed, and blended in within the stars, sand and wind. Cold wind. The wind that sharply cuts my cheek bones, that apparently are too highly placed for some people.

I hate it, how Rene says that the guy he raped is the right one for him. The right guy doesn't treat you like a disposable plate. The right guy doesn't fuck you like if you're a slut, raping and forcing to do something you don't want to do. The right guy is not the one who doesn't care, and you, Rene, would not cheat on him, if he really was THE ONE.

I would want to think IDK is the right one, but i do not believe he is. He says he's straight, but hey, i gave up all other connections, just for him. He's not the cute one. He probably is the smart one. He's not the rich one, but i bet he's a believer, or rather a dreamer, yet suppressed by something. I'm not hoping for anything, but I still can't let go, i just don't know how to do it. I don't Know. I Don't know. I do not know.

I have no reason to be furious and give in to rage. It's not like it's others fault it's not working out for me, or is it? But i know that this time it is not my fault. So Christina, don't tell me that I deserve it... okay.

Now to Christina: Wow, what a day you had there! Well, we read it here all together, and here is what i think: very poetic... it's vulnerable... not the spelling you used. But hey, don' give up your hope. I hate it when people tell you the time will come and you will have it all... but that's exactly what i want to say to you!

to my wife: I'm happy for you... and you know why!

to S: Love ya. =D... hope you're having a lot of fun with santa.

<3 Charlie