another day of "you shoulds"

im sitting here at starbucks and i thought that it would be just a typical day...which it was.

DAN again bombarded me with YOU SHOULDS.

i hate it and its like i have a choice. i hated what he said last night. i was in a bad mood because of my past and that he's happy with how his life is right now and for some reason i took it out on him. i didnt do it on purpose and then out of nowhere just blabbed and said, "you're like that coz you got what you want from me." its so bad of me to admit it but a part of me is thankful and relieved but nonetheless, its not like im just going to walk away just because of that.

he's always challenging me to just give up, break up but he never has the guts to do it and when he does and i ask him not to, he would often be persuaded that he should stay. men and their inconsistencies. its to typical. why is it so hard for them to adjust to us? why is it so hard for them to just be softer sometimes? why is their ego so fucking big? i hate it.

there was a time in my life where i swore off men and im in that point where i want to swear off love because its gone.

what the hell.

im not making sense. fuck this shit. DAN is totally driving me crazy.






= S =